James of Arabia: August 2012

OK class, is everyone caught up with their reading assignments? We have a lot to cover this term. Don't be afraid to ask questions because if you have one other people have the same question. Please take your seats and open your notebooks. I hope you brought plenty of sharp pencils.

poor bag!

It was sooooo good to get on the plane heading out of Jizan back to the 'real world' of the USofA. Landed in Jeddah airport, went to baggage claim to get my luggage and was disheartened to find that Saudi Arabian Airlines had trashed my (almost) brand new suitcase. One of the straps had been ripped out of the side and the pocket on the front had the zipper completely ripped out. Unbelievable! Sent it on after filing a damaged-bag claim (note that this was in July 2012, that will be important later.)

Got onto my Air France flight out of Jeddah and the oddest thing I have ever witnessed in air travel happened. Once the doors closed, all the stewards/esses walked down the aisle holding an aerosol can above their heads spraying something into the cabin. While this was happening the announcement was made that this was 'non-toxic', 'safe', etc. I have never been 'decontaminated' but it must be something like this. If I was a Saudi (and even though I'm not) I would be insulted by the insinuation that somehow some 'bug' was going to travel to oh-so-pure France from a flight out of Jeddah. After all, in France they allow snails (which are only slugs that found a home) on their plates and fungus dug up by pigs! So we all enjoyed breathing something that apparently was meant to kill germs but not humans. Hmmmm.

So the best part (mostly because I was in business class I'm sure) was that as we were taking off the stewardess came around with Champagne. That went down very well. Then they broke out the wine. When the stewardess asked me if I'd like some more I replied, "I've just been in Saudi Arabia for nine months without alcohol." She filled it to the top. That was sweet of her. I was, later on, very happy to notice that my tolerance for alcohol had not diminished in any way. I drank my fill and no hang over - it's good to be me. Oh, and the food was MUCH better on Air France than I've gotten on any other trip.

The food was pretty good at the Air France business lounge and the booze was free. That is most likely what made the 30+ hours of travel most tolerable. *Travel Tip: many airports will let you 'buy' your way into a business lounge if you so desire. For the ones I've seen it was $30 but if you've got a long lay-over at least you get free food & drink along with free wifi internet, not too bad a deal (except in those pesky non-alcohol countries.)

Taking off from GDG airport was interesting to say the least. I was seated next to a woman who was a U.S. ex-pat who had been living in France for decades. She was headed back to see family in Chicagoland area. Apparently she hates take-offs and landings. She asked if she could 'hold my arm', I acquiesced, and, boy, she gripped my arm like Bonnie Leone did way back when I took her to see the first Jaws movie. Like to rip it off. Anyway, safely in the air, that was certainly an ice breaker. We had a nice conversation, I got to ask her about what not to miss in Paris, off the beaten path of course, for when Val and I were going to spend some time there on my return to the Magic Kingdom.

It turns out that this woman is quite competitive. She got into doing the 'Who wants to be a millionaire' game on the flight - first in French, then she switched to English to enlist my aid. We went through that a bunch of times until she finally won. Fortunately my eidetic memory is still good and I could fill in some of the answers that I'd seen in previous iterations (there are only so many questions at each level) even though they were slanted toward English culture. So after a few more drinks, we slept together for most of the rest of the flight to Chicago.

Disembarked at O'Hare and at the baggage claim there was a customs woman walking a beagle dog around sniffing people's luggage and carry-on bags. The dog found quite a few that had food in their bags which were not supposed to be imported and the people had to take whatever it was out and throw it away. The dog must have known me because as it sniffed my backpack which was on the floor in front of me it looked up and winked - not really. However, it completely missed the two Granny Smith apples I had brought from KSA that were inside. Yeah, I'm a bad-ass smuggler.

The flight from Chi-town to Flint was uneventful. It was sure wonderful to see my Sweetie again. Suki seemed happy to see me, the cat, not so much. Needless to say I was knackered! (Get your mind out of the gutter, that means 'tired'.) It did take a few days to get over the jet-lag and back on the EDT schedule.

Being back in a first-world country was a bit odd. Everyone was driving mostly the speed limit and staying in their own lanes, even at the lights. Totally weird, huh? I tried not to drive too much as my skills have devolved a bit with the stock car/demolition derby style in KSA that I've gotten used to. Drove Val to & from work part of the time but that's mostly back roads.

Had a ton of things scheduled; doctor's check ups, knee joint shots, dentist, chiropractor and, best of all, massages (with the first one the day after I got back). I needed to fit a lot in because in order to stay in the good graces of the IRS I couldn't spend more than 30 days in the States.

Turned around that first week and flew to ME to see Val's mother then drove to VT to see my mother, family, school mates and friends. Elaine (Beaudoin) Owens graciously hosted a get together and a few others from our class showed up. Nancy (Brown) Thein was even there (she was back in VT from teaching in Ethiopia.) I hadn't seen her in years. Anyway, it was a good evening to get caught up with old friends. Almost 40 years out of WHS and the Blue Devils.

We spent some time with my sister(s) and had a little something to drink. We met Betsy and Mike in Northfield for a bite to eat and some beer. (The waitress was not very attentive for the place being so empty.) Ron Bingham, our best man, came up one evening and brought his son. He and I had a great time solving the world's problems and drinking beer. We had too much fun when we were younger so now we can offer a lot of advice to our offspring. We did a few little things for my mother and then, all too soon, it was time to head back to MI.

Val had set up a few concerts for us to go see. We saw Jim Gaffigan the comedian at Pine Knob. He was quite good in person, better than I had expected. You can find him here: jimgaffigan.com/ I had only heard him on Sirius radio. We went to see two concerts there as well; we saw The Fray one night then went back the next night to see Bare Naked Ladies (there weren't any that I saw.) The BNL concert was excellent and the other bands were good as well; one of which was George Thorogood.

Then the time was all used up; had to get out of U.S.ofA. Val and I flew to Paris for a few days before I had to go back to KSA. We met James who came over from Germany where he's stationed. Had a nice little hotel in a quiet area not far from two metro stations. One of James' high school friends joined us for a couple days.

We got to see a few of the 'biggies'; Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, etc. Climbed to the top of the hill that had the Basilique du Sacre-Coeur at the top (a very nice view) then had dinner up there at one of the outside restaurants that are ubiquitous. One of the evenings when we were out wandering looking for an interesting place to eat, I was looking at something by one of the buildings while Val and James were having some sort of discussion and this young man came up to me and asked how to get to some nightclub. I think I must have looked like the Answer Man to him or a local? It wasn't like there wasn't anyone else nearby. (Do I look friendly? I was going for terrifying.) Anyway, it turned out that he was there with four very nice looking young women and they were all Saudis. I mentioned that I was in KSA and they knew where the area I am working in is (it apparently is an area that is not held in the highest regard by the rest of the country.) Unfortunately I couldn't find the place they were looking for on my GPS but I was able to direct them to someone who could.

It wasn't a day later when Val and I were coming out of the metro station near our hotel when these two young Asian women approached me to ask for directions. At least this time Val and I were the only other people around. As a bonus, I was able to locate where the hotel was they were trying to get to and I could give them directions. They were from China I think based on the characters on the paper that listed their hotel.